Hi Deb. OR: How to start writing anything.

Hi Reader,

There’s a trick that I use sometimes to get started writing. Actually, I use it every time I sit down to write these weekly emails and sometimes when I’m doing other writing.

I’ll tell you the trick, but first I want to tell you about my friend Deborah.

Deborah’s birthday was over the weekend, and with my birthday being the week before, we are almost exactly 20 years apart in age. Five years ago when I turned 40 and she turned 60, we hosted a joint 100-year-old birthday party with a playlist of songs exclusively from the years we were each born: 1959 and 1979.

We both love having birthdays in July, love being Cancers, love sharing birthdays with celebrities (Harrison Ford for me, Cat Stevens, Ernest Hemingway, and Robin Williams for her). We also commiserate over not getting to celebrate our birthdays at school and all of our friends being out of town for our parties when we were kids.

Deborah and I first met nearly thirteen years ago at the launch party for Under the Gum Tree, the literary magazine I publish, where she read her story that was published in the first issue. Our friendship developed over the years as writers and then our husbands met. They both have birthdays in June (mine on June 2, hers on June 13), they both love movies and TV (hers, a former TV critic), they both love wine and work/have worked in the industry, and they both do the cooking in the house (and enjoy it).

The four of us have spent several New Year’s Eves together in Carmel, have shared many meals (that the men have cooked!) and bottles of wine, have attended each other’s events, readings, and parties—just in the past six weeks, we have celebrated all four of our birthdays together.

We have all of these bonding experiences together, and wonderful memories, but more than any of that, Deborah is one of the most observant, thoughtful, and supportive friends I’ve ever had. A few months ago she recruited my husband Jeremy and me to join her in playing weekly trivia at a local urban winery. We continued to play with the rest of the team while she was out of town one month, and when she returned she brought us all notebooks, pens, and chocolates from her travels.

When Jeremy and I go to her house for any occasion, we can expect there to be conversation starters, trivia questions, or party games on the table. She draws a cartoon cat character named Harvey who sometimes has comedic adventures with her real pet cat Jack. She writes poetry that is both clever and poignant, doesn’t hesitate to read at an open mic, and has a keen knack for connecting people, inviting both old and new friends to join in whatever fun she’s planning.

She responds to the weekly emails I write with genuine appreciation for my writing, telling me how I’m sharing about my experiences in a fresh, smart way that resonates with her and makes her think (and therefore, she’s sure, is resonating with others, too).

For my birthday this year, she wrote me a poem. It was on the theme of trivia, incorporating lots of references and inside jokes from the recent weeks we have spent answering obscure questions and wracking our brains to pull in facts that we know we know. It also included bits of history trivia for the date July 13 (my birthday) like the day that JFK was nominated, that Babe Ruth hit his 700th home run, Frank Sinatra made his debut, and the Hollywood sign was built.

And the part that made me cry, the last few lines:

This poem was such a sweet, meaningful gift, and made me feel so special. I also feel honored and privileged to have a friend like Deborah, who always seems to know how to make people feel loved and supported, and just plain good about themselves. Her quiet, steady regard is so pervasive that when I sit down to write these weekly emails I start them every week by writing “Hi Deb,” (only good friends may call her Deb instead of Deborah). It’s the trick I use to get past the critic in my brain telling me, “No one wants to read this!” or “Nobody cares what you have to say!”

The trick works because I know that at least one person wants to read what I write; one person cares what I have to say. And that person is my friend Deb.

So I sit down to write these emails as if I’m writing to her, and only her. It allows me to focus on what I want to tell her, as a friend, and it unlocks my ideas and my voice. I’m not thinking about EVERYONE; I’m thinking about my friend Deb and what I would say to HER. How I would tell her the story; what I want her to know. It definitely helps that Deb is also a writer, since I want to support and encourage her in the same way I support and encourage my clients, but this trick can be used in any context and everyone should have a friend like Deb.

Who is your Deborah? If you don’t have a friend like Deborah, I encourage you to go find one—STAT. Report back to me if you try this trick for yourself; I’d love to hear just how well it works.

Janna

p.s. Since it’s still July and my birthday month, the $45 savings on my private community membership is still available through the end of the month. Click here for details. Questions? Hit reply to this email and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.

p.p.s. In case you missed it: On my birthday I ran a one-day flash sale for my pdf download 45 Writing Prompts (45 in honor of turning 45). The sale is over, but you can still grab the pdf here:

$19.00 45 Writing Prompts from Janna Maron GET IT NOW

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Who am I and what’s this email all about?

I’m Janna. I’m a book coach and editor for women writing nonfiction. I write weekly emails with tips, motivation, inspiration, and encouragement for the writing and creative life. I support women with coaching and editing on writing, finishing, and publishing their nonfiction books in my private community More to the Story. (Yes, editing and manuscript review is available for community members.)

One of my mantras is: Tell stories without shame. I believe that we can find health, wellness, and happiness in life when we share our personal story with others, because it helps us come to terms with what makes us who we are.